Although this week was supposed to return to business as usual around here, I’m sad to say that we won’t be, at least for right now, to leave time and space for mourning.
On the 10th of December, my mother quickly and quite surprisingly passed away. If you’ve been following me for awhile on this blog, you may have remembered that my mom had been sick with a rare brain disorder for quite some time. One called cerebral amyloid angiopathy. It was a long, and very, very arduous road for her, but thankfully things somewhat evened out and she became and remained stable for the last five years or so. This last year however, was very hard on her. She lived in a nursing home where she, as everyone else in a nursing facility, was on lockdown and had limited allowed interactions with us and others in the facility.
As a result, her communication, which already struggled greatly, declined even further. Then in the summer, she broke her hip, which for the elderly, is often a catalyst for passing somewhat soon after. However, she seemed to pull through and was making a great recovery. Then we got the call right before Thanksgiving that she had tested positive for COVID-19.
Every single day I called for an update though, and every single day it was great news, “She’s doing amazingly well!” Somehow she was pulling through completely and without a single symptom, until she wasn’t. The day after she was moved from the COVID unit to a recovery room, I called and was told that she wasn’t eating, drinking, or communicating. Having worked with many elderly people in the past at my former position at Morgan Stanley, I knew that this was often a sign of passing soon. She passed only 6 days later. I did get to see her in person, I did get to say goodbye, but it was just not enough. It was a mere 24 hours between getting approval to enter the facility, and her passing.
And thus my heart is broken, my mind lost and confused, and in need for some space and time to mourn. Losing a family member leaves you with a feeling of emptiness, and a feeling of needing to reflect, honor, mourn, and renew. So for the next few weeks, I’ll be doing that. And once I return with the blog posts as usual, there may be additional changes around here as well, as so often during times of loss, changes happen, redirections happen, rethinking happens, to honor those we have loved and lost.
Thank you for your understanding, and I wish you all well,